It was a stupid video, objectively. One of those things that could only exist in an age where documenting the most mundane things took less effort than at any point in human history. Using a device that could communicate across the globe or search the farthest corners of the Internet for information, someone had recorded a video of a vending machine malfunctioning.
“It’s so stupid,” Patrick laughed. And he was right. The vending machine was one of the clear-covered ones, with a nice little holder to carefully maneuver the buyer’s chosen beverage to the bottom. And that’s what happened, except that when the holder reached the bottom, it ejected the drink so violently that it was a wonder the bottle didn’t burst. The video was captioned “Me when I’m angry but trying to play it cool.”
All-in-all, it was a basic cheap video. Something to squeeze a tiny laugh, a hint of serotonin, out of, before scrolling past and forgetting all about it.
How Zeke wished everyone had just forgotten about it.
It all started at Amy’s party. It wasn’t a fancy affair, just one of those weekends when everyone in their old group realized they had a free day at the same time, and they cobbled together a hangout of shared food and booze. It had been months since many of them had seen each other, and they were desperate to leave their empty homes to spend a few hours around friendly faces.
Zeke had tried to enjoy the party, and they were partially successful. The smell of Benji’s baking spread through the room, and Zeke couldn’t remember they last time their belly had been filled with such good food. They laughed at Lisa’s stories about her latest travel mishaps and how she was sure, one day, she’d be able to leave the state without experiencing calamity. They squeezed Patrick’s hand and rested their head on his shoulder and did their best to enjoy the feeling of being surrounded by friends. But reality scratched at the back of their mind, like the family cat used to scratch at the bathroom door whenever someone was inside. This party was but a brief respite, and waiting on the other side was all the stuff Zeke didn’t want to think about.
As was inevitable at any modern hangout, the group eventually pulled out their phones to see what the outside world had been up to in the last few hours. It was Patrick who found the video.
“Look at this,” he said, angling his phone towards Zeke. They gave a little snort of surprise as the machine hurled the bottle like an insult. That was enough endorsement for the others to come over and take turns watching.
Maybe it was the giddy mood in the air, or the infectious quality of Amy’s laugh, or they were all truly brain rotted to the point of no return, but as the video was replayed, the group devolved into manic laughter.
“It’s so stupid,” Patrick said. “How can something so stupid be so funny?”
“It’s the stupidity that makes it funny,” Benji said.
“And the surprise,” Amy added. “Holy shit, I would lose it if that happened to me.”
Lisa reached across the couch and hit the replay button on Patrick’s phone. They all sat in silence until the SLAM of the bottle echoed out of the phone’s speaker. Then even Zeke felt themself laughing harder than they had in weeks. How wonderful to laugh at something silly with friends. How freeing to give into absurdity and let the weight of living slide away for a few moments.
It was a small blessing. And a deadly curse.
As Zeke knew it would, the world eventually reared its ugly ahead, and they could no longer ignore it. Piles of work that only grew, because half of Zeke’s team was sick, and the other half had been let go. Not that that mattered to management, who badgered them every hour of the work day, demanding updates and insisting Zeke pick up the pace. Phone calls from Zeke’s sister, updating them on their dad’s declining health. Suggestions that they come down and visit becoming more aggressive as time passed. Patrick announcing more mouse droppings had appeared in the apartment. He’d called the landlord and demanded something be done, but neither of them held out much hope.
The days slipped by as the stress mounted, and Zeke forgot all about the party and the video until they felt Patrick trembling in bed one night.
“What are you laughing at?” They asked, rolling over. The blue glow of a screen silhouetted their partner’s head.
Patrick popped an earbud out. “Sorry, I was watching that stupid video again. Did I wake you?”
Zeke sat up on their elbow to see the screen. The vending machine was throwing the bottle, again and again, its anger spilling out past its attempts to maintain composure. “No, I wasn’t asleep yet.”
Not sensing immediate danger, Patrick turned back to his phone. For some reason, unease prickled at Zeke’s spine.
“Don’t forget, you’ve got an early meeting tomorrow,” Zeke prodded, hoping Patrick would take the hint and put down the phone.
“I won’t forget.”
Zeke rolled over and shut their eyes. They fell asleep before Patrick set down the phone.
A few days later, “that stupid video” invaded Zeke’s workspace. It was some company-wide meeting, and people were crammed into the meeting room, so they could stare at the company CEO on a screen together. As Zeke’s eyes glazed over, the CEO finally reached the end of his speech. “Before I go, I wanted to share something that’s brought a little extra joy to my days. I hope you can all get a chuckle out of it as well.”
Zeke had long since given up on pretending to laugh at the jokes corporate thought would be a riot with the rank-and-file. They were content to let their brain wander until they had permission to return to their desk, until a familiar whirring sound reached their ears.
They looked up just in time to see the bottle slam into the base of the vending machine. The noise actually made a couple people jump, and then the room was laughing. It surprised Zeke. The laughter felt so out of place in the bleak meeting room. It made the space feel alive and real in a way Zeke had never connected with work. They were even more surprised when they realized they were also laughing.
Zeke returned home that night in a better mood than they’d been in in weeks. Patrick was already on the couch, eyes glued to his phone.
“Hey babe,” Zeke said, tossing their stuff on a side table. They glanced to the kitchen, conspicuously devoid of food smells. “Did you just get home? Want me to cook for us?”
It took Zeke a moment to realize Patrick wasn’t going to reply. They walked over to the couch and poked him in the shoulder. “Patrick.”
“Huh?” Patrick looked up, eyes not quite focusing on Zeke. “Oh, hey. What’s up?”
“Do you want me to make dinner?” Zeke looked down at the rumpled T-shirt and pajama pants Patrick sat in. “You already got in your pajamas?”
Patrick looked down at his own outfit. “Oh, I guess I never really got dressed today.”
“Are you sick?” Zeke’s mind was already spinning with worst-case scenarios. “Do you need to go to the doctor?”
“No, I’m fine. I just needed a day.”
“Okay…” Zeke didn’t like the tone in Patrick’s voice. There was something casual and distant in it. “So, dinner?”
“Sure, sounds great.” Patrick turned back to his phone without another word. Zeke wasn’t entirely surprised to see a familiar video playing on the screen.
“Dad’s dead.” Those were the first words out of Sophie’s mouth when Zeke answered her call. The statement was so abrupt, it took them a moment to process.
“Wait, what?”
“I said dad’s dead.”
“I—but, how—”
“I’ve been telling you he was sick, Zeke!” Sophie’s venom was clear over the phone. “I’ve begged you over and over to come visit him before it was too late. Well, it’s too late.”
Something in Zeke cracked. “No, nonono…” They gripped the kitchen counter with their free hand, eyes swimming with tears. A wail caught in their throat, but they forced it down for the moment. “I’m sorry, Sophie. I’m so sorry.”
Something in their voice must have gotten through, because some of the anger left Sophie’s voice. “Listen, I don’t want to fight right now. I just wanted to let you know.”
“Thanks,” Zeke croaked. They needed to get off the phone. They couldn’t make Sophie deal with their grief after leaving her to take care of their dad alone, but they didn’t want to hang up either. “Was he…was he in pain?”
“Not at the end.” Sophie sniffled. “He actually had a good last day. He kept laughing at this video one of the nurses showed him.”
A whining sound started up in Zeke’s brain as they said, “A video?”
It was all over the news the next day. People couldn’t stop sharing the video. They couldn’t stop laughing at it. It was on every trending page, every day-time talk show dedicated air-time to it. The silly little video the world couldn’t get enough of.
Patrick wouldn’t get off his phone. His eyes were blasted wide, lips curled back in a blasphemous depiction of a smile. His skin was sallow and slick.
Zeke found him on the couch. They’d gone to bed crying over their father. Their sporadic sleep had been plagued with dreams of guilt and a slamming sound that grew closer and closer. They hadn’t even realized that Patrick hadn’t come to bed.
“Patrick?” Zeke shook his shoulder, trying to get a reaction. His eyes never left his phone screen. Zeke could tell what was on it with barely a glance. They noticed that the phone was plugged into the charger, a constant stream of energy to keep the video going. “Patrick, were you out here all night?”
Another shoulder shake. A faint, wheezy sound slipped between Patrick’s lips. It took Zeke a moment to realize he was laughing.
“Patrick!” Zeke wasn’t sure what made them snap—grief, anger, fear—but the next thing they knew, they were ripping the phone out of Patrick’s hands. The charging cable yanked free, and Zeke threw the phone across the room. It slammed into the wall, leaving a divot in the drywall.
Zeke turned back to their partner. Patrick’s eyes remained locked on the spot where the phone had been, his fingers still curled as if to hold it. His eyes threatened to spill out of their sockets. As Zeke stared, the wheezing laugh picked up volume.
“HeheheHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!”
Patrick’s jaw creaked further open, his entire body jerking as he laughed. Zeke was frozen in horror. They could only watch as Patrick laughed and laughed and laughed.
As quickly as it had started, the laughter was cut off by a raspy, gasping sound. Patrick’s eyes finally drifted from his empty hand, focusing on some distant point. Then he slumped to the floor with a thud.
“Patrick?” Zeke had never hesitated to touch him before, but they had to force themself to bend down and roll Patrick over. His eyes were glassy and vacant.
“Sophie, when you get this message, please call me back. It’s an emergency.”
Zeke ended the call and stared at the phone. They’d called 911 first, but all they’d gotten was a busy signal. They hadn’t even realized that could happen when you called 911. Then they’d tried Amy, then Benji and Lisa, because they all lived in the same city. No answer to calls or texts.
Sophie had been the last call. She was hours away, and Zeke didn’t know what they expected her to do. They just needed to talk to someone. To hear a voice. But she hadn’t answered either.
Zeke couldn’t stop thinking about her words on their last call. He kept laughing at this video one of the nurses showed him. Their head started turning towards Patrick’s body on the floor, but they stopped themself from turning fully around. Had their dad’s face resembled Patrick’s at the end? Had that really been a good last day?
A slamming sound made Zeke jump. They looked toward Patrick’s phone. In a moment, they’d crossed the room and scooped it up. The stupid, goddamn video was still playing. Zeke tried to swipe away, but the video kept playing. They kept swiping their thumb over the screen. Eventually, they realized that the screen was responding. Every video in the feed was the same.
Zeke should have thrown the phone away at that point, but they didn’t. Instead, they opened a different app. There was the video, already auto-playing. The same happened in the next app they tried. Zeke looked up trending news articles—it was all the video. They typed gibberish into the search engine. SLAM, SLAM, SLAM.
Zeke wasn’t sure how long it took them to realize they were laughing. Tears slipped down their cheeks, and their chest ached with the force of the laughter. Their fingers trembled over the phone screen, but everywhere they looked, the video was waiting for them.
In their peripheral vision, they made out of shape of Patrick’s body on the floor. Zeke stumbled over, their body shaking as they slid down next to Patrick.
It’s alright, Zeke thought. I’ll catch up to you soon. But only laughter left their lips.